Who am I?

Who am I? This question is being tossed around now, in my senior year of high school, more than ever. Everyone wants to know what I want to do with my future, where I want to go to school, who I am. And the simple answer to all of these questions is, I don't know.

I feel like I should know the answers to these questions but I just haven't gotten there yet. I know what schools I've applied to, and the majors I've considered and all of the things that I like to do and enjoy that would make me who I am, but I don't think that thats good enough.

But to fulfill some of the requirements of this blog entry; I like to read, a lot, I like listening to my music while I play temple run on my iPod, I like spending time with my family when they're not getting on my nerves, I like goofing around with my friends, sometimes, when I get into the mood, I like to draw, I've recently discovered that I really enjoy photography. Some of the biggest influences in my life would have to be my mom because she's been my role model since forever, my older sister because so far in our relationship we have had a lot of ups and downs and that has had an immense impact on me, and my own self consciousness which dictates almost everything I do. Believe it or not, at home I am loud and talkative and obnoxious and weird. At school I'm quiet and shy because my awareness of myself gets projected onto other people and I have this belief that no one would accept me if I was loud and crazy and weird, and I know this is ridiculous, some part of me knows that no one cares about what I'm doing, but obviously that part isn't quite as big as the other part.

Hopefully these questions will be answered in the next stage of my life, when I go off to college I can only hope that I will feel free enough to be myself completely and come to some sort of understanding of what I want, but for now this is who I am and this is what I have to share.